Parents have the opportunity to influence the world through children. But hold on there – not in the way many of us thought.

Are you able to influence your child enough to control his actions?

 Nope and you never will.

Are you able to influence your children enough to stop them from following the wrong leaders?

Nope, and you never will. 

Are you able to influence your children enough to prevent them from making bad decisions?

Nope, and you never will.

So where’s the opportunity?

You can influence them enough to think for themselves and to live their lives according to their personal values.

That’s it and that’s enough.

The Peacemaker Parent is a book I wrote so that you could have a way to stop playing an unwinnable game. You’ll never win the control-and-stop game because control is just an illusion.  So, rather than funnel your love, creativity, passion, and energy into this dead end, use your resources to teach your children how to think for themselves and then empower them as they practice making decisions--and mistakes--now, in the safe environment that you create.

I’m a parent who found a way to create the environment necessary for my two sons to benefit from my ultimate messages. The environment supported all of us as we tried new ideas and evaluated results.

My ultimate message is that thinking for oneself is vital for happiness.

Let’s think about the packaging of this message for a minute.                      

1.     How can a parent package this valuable message? 

 

By modeling it every single day.

 

2.     How can a parent structure practice that’s meaningful enough for the benefits to be recognized by his or her children?

 

Allow your children total control over a personal task.

 

3.     How can you support the inevitable mistakes everyone makes when learning something new and yet, still feel safe and confident as a parent?

  Select the right tasks and use “training wheels.”

With few exceptions, regardless your starting point or the developmental abilities of your children, you can influence them enough to become independent leaders one day.

The starting point is you

This book is for you, the adult and it is certainly not about telling you how to parent your children. Remember, even if I thought I had all the right answers (which I certainly don’t I, or anyone else does) I’m only going to be able to influence you enough to think about your choices independently.  See, influence is all anyone really has.

Influence

 That’s it and that’s enough

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 The Morning Peacemaker Method implements the Peacemaker Parent

 

Lorraine Esposito is a Professional Certified Coach by the International Coach Federation. Find out more about Lorraine here.